In a perfect metaphor for the Titanic-sized disaster that has been the 2012 Boston Red Sox season, soon-to-be-thankfully-fired manager Bobby Valentine was riding around Central Park on Tuesday when he received a text message from Dustin Pedroia. 

Showing the same intelligence in which he's handled his pitching staff, the media, his players, his lineups and his coaches, Bobby decided that he should read that message while still riding in the rain on a slippery path. The obvious then happened. 

Looking up at the last minute, Valentine tried to avoid two walking tourists with an open umbrella and instead tumbled ass-over-handlebars onto the ground. 

“I shouldn’t have been reading a text while I was riding,” he said. “That’s the wrong thing to do. But at least I was wearing my helmet.”

Valentine received some minor scrapes and bruises on his knees and thighs and was otherwise fun. The message from Pedroia? He was texting to let Bobby know that despite his broken finger he was going to play. 

[New York Times, photo via Boston Sports Hub]

Kevin Love is one of the top forwards in basketball and the preeminent rebounder in the game right now. Apparently, he's also got a little pop in his bat. Stepping in to take batting practice at Target Field, Love takes Twins manager Ron Gardenhire deep into the upper deck (something all-world hitter Joe Mauer has only managed 4 times this year at home...)

While hitting a ball out of the park is supposed to be the hardest thing in sports, it seems that for the 6'10" Love fielding is the far more difficult part of the game. 

[Fox Twin Cities]

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban made his billions through an internet business so it's fair to say that the man knows a little about the online world. Apparently, Mikhail Prokhorov, the New Jersey Brooklyn Nets' owner, (or at least the team's staff) is not as well-versed in the web. 

In a solid bit of equal parts internet trolling and amusing, Cuban purchased the domain for "Nets.com" which now redirects to the Dallas Mavericks page instead. Before he did that though, reportedly Cuban had a little fun with his new domain, posting this image:

Zing!

Gotta love a team owner with a sense of humor. I really wish baseball would get their sticks out of their asses and let Cuban in too, he'd make MLB a lot more interesting. 

[Black Sports Online]

The Yankees and Orioles are fighting it out for the top spot in the AL East with it coming down to the final game of the season. The New York players weren't the only ones chasing birds though, in the 12th inning of Tuesday's game against the Red Sox an actual avian was on the field and gave some trouble to the grounds crew. 

Of course, the Red Sox (after already blowing the lead in the 9th) lost the game. The bird presumably was fine. I hate baseball. 

[MLB]

The 2014 Sochi Olympics are only 500 days (think of all the Hot Olympians to come!) and so the Russian Olympic organizers are starting to tease out some bits about the upcoming games, first up, the new slogan: "Hot. Cool. Yours." ("Жаркие. Зимние. Твои")

Um. What?

A more literal translation of the slogan has it as: "Hot. Wintry. Yours." Which still really doesn't help.

According to Global Voices’ Andrey Tseliko: "The Russian version of the slogan is plural, which in combination with ‘жаркие,’ makes people think of the words ‘passionate,’ ‘fervent,’ and ‘sultry,’ rather than simply temperature.” 

That seems a much more apt description of the Olympics, even if the Winter games don't usually require as many condoms as its summer counterparts. 

The Olympic committee's explanation is as follows:

The slogan "Hot.Cool.Yours." is intended to be a universal solution successfully combining innovation and dynamism. The first part of the slogan, consisting of the two words “Hot. Cool.” symbolizes movement, evolution and moving forward. 

The word "Hot." reflects the intensity of sporting battle and the passion of the spectators, and it emphasizes the location of the Games, the southern resort city of Sochi. 

The word "Cool." references the timing of the Games, the fact that it is a Winter Games, as well as alluding to traditional perceptions of Russia as a country with a cold climate in the rest of the world. 

The last word "Yours." symbolizes personal involvement and shows that while the Games is a large-scale national project, everybody can share in the victories at the Games and the sense of pride. 

The dot after each word draws a parallel with high technologies (.ru) and the emblem of the Winter Games in Sochi.

So now you know. Get excited!!!

[Sochi 2014 and Global Voices]

The NBA is gearing up for the 2012-3 season which, with the NHL locked out and the amount of top talent in the league right now, should be an extremely exciting and interesting one. As the various teams hold their media days and the players get their photos taken there's a bit of the first-day-of-school energy in the air, with everyone showing up in their coolest clothes and showing off how much they grew, their new boobs, fresh kicks, and of course, new hair-dos. 

So far the New York Knicks' Iman Shumpert has the best new 'do, arriving with a sweet throwback flat-top.

I like it way better than Andrew Bynum's new-look afro (which he says he's taking the full season to grow out...

What do you guys think? Whose new 'do is better?

[The NBA Guru]

September is when baseball teams carry out their annual rookie hazing rituals and normally I'd be all over it. However, with the Red Sox out of it and my real favorite team, the Tampa Bay Rays, unlikely to make the playoffs it's hard to care about baseball these days. 

But when you have a superstar rookie like Mike Trout, one would be remiss to not pay homage to his hazing photo. So, here is your future 2012 AL MVP and ROY, Mike Trout dressed as a baby. 

[The Outside Corner]

Back in July Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke turned heads (and broke a few hearts) with her energetic dancing warmup routine prior to a race. Well, the 19-year-old is back racing and still has an uptempo, body-moving warmup routine that catches the eye. This time though there's another element added: rain. 

Welcome back!

[Off the Bench]

The 1-3 Kansas City Chiefs have not performed well on the field and even though the season is young, the fans are restless and looking for changes to be made.

A group of fans over at the ChiefsPlanet message board have come together to hire a plane to fly over Arrowhead Stadium with a message to the team's owners: "We Deserve Better: Fire Pioli — Bench Cassel."

Unfortunately, there are rules regarding the airspace over the stadium and the banner can only be towed around until 11am before kickoff. Regardless, I love that the fans have come together to make this happen—and thanks to the pilot believing this is "god's work" the fans got a discount!

So if you want to contribute to future flights, head over to the message board and pledge your support. Every dollar counts. 

[ChiefsPlanet]

There's Lingerie Football, a nascent bikini hockey league in Tulsa, and now (FINALLY!) the Bikini Basketball league is nearly ready to begin play.

Set to begin in early November with seven teams (Atlanta Fleet Angels, Miami Spice, New York Knockouts, Hollywood Hotties, Orlando Lady Cats, LA Ice, and Chicago Desire), the league is seeking players and was set to hold tryouts in Miami this past weekend. 

There was only one small problem: the high school the tryouts were supposed to be at decided at the last minute that it didn't want to be associated with bikini basketball (prudes!) and the Spice were forced to postpone the tryouts until October 13.

Judging by the poster for the new tryouts, it looks like this league is DEFINITELY going to make it long-term. 

[Miami Spice]