Veteran fullback Lawrence Vickers is trying to make a good impression at his first go-around with the Dallas Cowboys. Having to leave practice early, as he did during Wednesday's OTAs, is not the best way to go about impressing people.
Then again, consider the reason: ants in his pants.
Somehow a slew of fire ants found their way into Vickers' football pants, owners of a painful bite, that'd be most unpleasant for anyone (especially considering how tight football pants are.) For Vickers though it was an even larger problem, he's allergic to the fire ants' bite, something he discovered four months ago when they bit him during a workout session. Now he carries an epi-pen although he fortunately didn't have to use it on Wednesday.
However, the experience was most unpleasant. "I was freaking out. Oh, ants!" Vickers said later. "I was trying not to squeeze myself in front of women out there.
"I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn't do that. When those ants get close to those testicles, there ain't no laughing about that."
Truer words have never been spoken: When those ants get close to those testicles, there ain't no laughing about that.
I need that on a T-shirt yesterday.