Before the 2008 season Jordan Schafer was one of the crown jewels in the Atlanta Braves farm system, but after being suspended 50 games for alleged HGH use, (despite no proof he took or purchased it) the luster was off him. Last year in limited duty Schafer came up and played decently, but was also not particularly impressive. Over the offseason he's been busy expressing himself, in particular with his giant new sleeve tattoo.

The art, done by All or Nothing Tattoo first required a fair amount of reworking some of the work that had been done by another, inferior artist. Once that was cleaned up, Schafer was left with a left arm adorned with several Michaelangelo renaissance statue faces and this piece of wisdom: "Our greatest glory is not in rising but in the rising after the fall."

Shafer intends to get work done on his right arm as well. He's not alone amongst the Braves, 7 of the players to date have been or are getting tattoos from the gang at All or Nothing who have some fine photos and video of the players getting their tats.

[Braves Mix]

Playing on the #1 team in the nation, you'd be fair in presuming that Brady Morningstar has some basketball skills. That's what makes this foul shot by the Kansas Jayhawk all the more bizarre. Somehow he just loses his control of the ball and it slips out of his hands which he then catches and fires up in desperation. Pretty weird stuff. I've never seen anything like that before, and I've seen a LOT of little kid basketball games...

2010 has not shaped itself to be a particularly great year in sports for the nation of Ireland. First they found themselves shut out of the World Cup thanks to a missed hand-ball call and now their women's bobsled team is in danger of being removed from the upcoming Olympics. That's because the Australian Olympic Committee has appealed for their 2-woman bobsled team to participate in the games instead.

As part of the IOC's qualifying rules, 18 teams qualify for the games, plus 2 more from the Oceania and Asia regions. Australia's team went through qualifying but the International Bobsleigh and Skeleton Federation (FIBT) didn't award any Oceania team this year. If the Australians were in, that would mean the IOC would need to drop the last team, which would be the 28th ranked Irish squad.

If that happened Ireland would "go into a riot" said Patrick Hickey, the president of Ireland's Olympic Council. "It would be outrageous if those girls were stripped of their accreditation and sent back home to Ireland."

"We're already suffering from the football (situation) of (France's) Thierry Henry scoring a goal with his hand and eliminating us from the World Cup finals. And if something like this happened it would be catastrophe altogether."

Who knew bobsledding was such an integral part of the Irish people's identity!

The Irish have claimed, and it seems pretty likely, that the Australians, who brought the two women to Vancouver, waited so long to bring the issue up as a means of trying to force the IOC to allow a 21st team. If that happens, expect the Brazilians to also lodge a complaint in order to get THEIR two-woman bobsled team in the games too.

For what it's worth, the Brazilians are ranked 31st and the Australians are 32nd in the world.

[CTV]

Recognizing that with the end of the season likely comes the end of the LeBron Era in Cleveland the Cavaliers are doing all they can to facilitate their fans getting drunker. The first step was removing all the water fountains from Quicken Loans Arena.

In November the team took out all the fountains to, as they insist, reduce the spread of bacteria and viruses, including the swine flu. Now, patrons who want water during the game have several options, they can wait in the concessions line and get a complimentary cup of water, pay $4 for a bottle of Aquafina or buy watered down beer and get wasted.

The team claims that they took their cue from the NBA and the International Association of Assembly Managers who recommended the move. The only problem is that BOTH groups said they DON'T recommend removing water fountains.

"We have not made any recommendations for teams to turn off water fountains. That is strictly for teams to decide in their own market," NBA spokesman Brian McIntyre said.

Local Cleveland health officials said that research does not suggest turning off water fountains as vital to fight the spread of viruses.

"There is nothing out there that suggests that water fountains are a particular concern," said Matt Carroll, director of the Cleveland Department of Public Health. "I'm not aware of places that have turned off their water fountains."

Once informed of these opinions, Cavaliers spokesman Tad Carper tried to backtrack as best he could. "It's a decision that we made, ultimately. We felt comfortable about doing that and that it was the right thing to do, and we still feel that way," Carper said. "We wanted to provide the healthiest environment we could for our fans."

The real reason the team did it is obvious though, as 17-year-old fan Matt Woods notes, "The reason is so you have to buy a $4 water,"

Although Carper finds that simplistic explanation crazy.

"That's simply absurd," Carper said. "That never crossed our minds."

I know PR people are constantly lying, but that has to be one of the most bald-faced lies I have EVER read. Yeah, I'm sure the team was ASTONISHED that they might make more money by removing the free options and instead putting people in line where they are far more likely to buy other items as well. Fucking assholes.

[Cleveland]

On May 10, his 55th birthday, Chris Berman's contract with ESPN expires and right now it is no guarantee that the network's most famous face will return. The NFL Network and Direct TV are reportedly pulling out all the stops in an effort to get Berman to switch networks.

The president of the NFL Network is Steve Bornstein who rose up in the ranks with Berman and they have been friends for over 30 years.

I don't have the NFL Network, Cablevision refuses to show it, so I for one am in FULL FAVOR of the NFL Network signing Berman. Hell, sign him to an exclusive 30-year contract, I'd be most grateful. Just think how much more delightful the Home Run Derby would be WITHOUT Berman who has called it for the past 20 years. Or any of the awful baseball broadcasts he has done in the last few years. Or just think about how much better you'd feel not having to see his hair plugs and tired nicknaming act any longer.

I'm already feeling a sense of calm, I just hope these rumors turn into fact and not just a negotiating tactic.

[The Big Lead]

Winning the Super Bowl is nice, but we all know that the real prize is being named MVP and getting that special trip to Disney World. Yesterday, fresh off his victory, Saints QB Drew Brees was paraded down Main Street like the conquering hero he is. Mickey was alongside, in his helmet, trying to sweet talk Brees into getting him a tryout for next season. Goofy has no shot, dude can't catch...

After the jump a gallery of Brees parade journey!

Newly re-acquired defense man Anssi Salmela doesn't get many chances to score on the ice, before last night's game he had 2 goals in 2 years. With his Devils playing the Flyers, Anssi weaved his way through the defense and nicely deposited the puck in the net, he paid mightily for it. Hard-hitting center Jeff Carter flat-out DEMOLISHES Salmela right after he gets the shot off. Salmela lay prone on the ice for several minutes before being removed on a stretcher.

Salmela broke his nose, lost some bridgework and got a concussion from the hit, which was hard but clean. He also has zero recollection of shooting the puck, or scoring.

In an attempt to jump-start their offense, which last season was worse than anemic, the Mets are changing the height of the wall at Citi Field. Well, the center field wall at least.

Last season the Mets played with the wall 16 feet high in dead center, this year the team is lowering it to 8 feet instead. The rest of the walls remain the same. The team only hit 95 home runs last season and while the distance remains the same, 408 feet from home, the team hopes that the lowering of the wall will lead to some more offense for the club.

Presumably David Wright can't experience such a power outage again, Beltran will eventually be healthy, Jason Bay should add some pop to the lineup, and hey, there's always Daniel Murphy!

Ugh.

[MLB]

I would very much like to go sky diving. When I go, I would imagine that I won't be using my parachute as a jump rope on my first time.

Ah, fuck it, I'll go for it. Someone buy me a sky diving trip and I will record myself doing this for all of you.

Hey gang, it's been far too long since we've had a good ol' fashioned caption contest here, and I think this picture is RIPE with potential. Leave your caption below in the comments, winner will receive a very special, ACTUAL prize from me!

"If I freeze my movement she can't see me right? Or is that how to avoid T-Rex?"